Relationships: when should(n’t) you commit?

heh

relationship- [countable] the way in which two people, groups or countries behave towards each other or deal with each other.

Most modern culture tells us relationships are supposed to fall effortlessly into our lives. People fight and make up and there’s always a ‘happily ever after’ that exists. Modern life, unfortunately, doesn’t quite work that way and this essay will basically be an attempt of a question I’m struggling to answer.

Everyone has flaws. Some hide them well, others not quite. For some it only comes out under the influence of alcohol, for others when they’re riled up over matters of delicate interest like politics, or national identity. Ideally in a relationship you embrace your partner’s flaws, as you accept them whole: for who they are, the sum of all their pretty imperfections. But how far does this go, or should it go?

I haven’t been in a relationship, so I do concede I don’t have anything to lose here. It’s also merely speculation. That being said, Ive noticed a couple of people do struggle with problems they seem unable to reconcile with on their own. Are relationships supposed to solve that, or therapy?

One may make the argument that simply having problems you’re unable to fix yourself shouldn’t deem you out of human companionship. After all, that’s the whole point of why some people get into relationships: to better themselves, and have someone along their journey. But where does one draw the line between you taking responsibility for your partners issues they struggle with, especially if you haven’t committed to the relationship? Is it an untoward add-on to all the attributes that draws you to that person in the first place, or is it an indicator of how ugly it could get in the future?

There’s no clear line of where a person is ready for a relationship, and I dont think if there ever can be one. Knowing, however if someone is ready for a relationship on the other hand, is an essential skill Im not sure I have figured out yet.